A day rest.

Yeah, a day rest. i dont have sch today (cos i crashed MAEC lecture on tues )

Anw, i shld just update a lil since i’ll be away to YLC tmr! feeling kinda excited~ My first YLC hehehe Missed trng ytd cos i gotta help in the YLC preparation for decor n games comm. Tiring but it was fun though!

& i gotta admit that my body clock is seriously not normal yetttt! I dread to go sch everyday (9am) lesson. SIGH. I promised myself i’ll start a freshhh n goood wk nxt wk. Hope it works =x

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Many at times, i’ll drift into a ‘ stoning cum thinking’ mode. I’ll reflect n wonder hows everything.. hows my life.. how am i.. what shld i be doing.. what shld i not be doing.. blah blah. (k i tink alot but, i need to get thoughts organised if not i’ll feel really messy). I realised how much time i need to be alone. Just me and me. Cos i dont really understnd myself yet. Sigh, thats a pretty sad thing. But i tink im slowly getting to noe myself more..

Sometimes i hated myself becos im too cold or I always let my mind control meeeeeeee (k, 90% of e time). Duno lah, kinda hard to put it in words.. but wellz, my dream everyday tells me that i really do miss some stuffs, or even people.

It becomes really bad when u’ve seen more & more evils in the reality everyday. You’ll hide yrself, close yrself,  put on a shield n act as though you are another person (whom ure not!). I’m glad im still being myself.. & i will continue to be. It is stupid to let situations control you and takeover you; changing you even. Its the inner self that makes u determine to be who u are.. Perhaps im able to control my emotions a lil bttr.. But when im with myself, things go loose and everything run wild. So conflicting. This is life.

One thing i realised i’ve been doing lately is.. taking two things n weigh their importance. N give up the less important one.

Is this a good practice?

I duno.

Im still in the midst of self-searching..

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Happy friday all.

Enough of all my ramblings.. or rather, self-talk.

Gooooodnites!